The key to happiness

Taken from Amma's Wisdom

This is an interesting and perhaps a bit of a strange anecdote about Amma. 

It was some time in 2000 my mother and my mother-in-law and a couple of her friends went on a pilgrimage to a few places near my village. My village has a temple of goddess Laxmi and in their itinerary they had included  my village too. They travelled by car so that they could visit many places.

After visiting all  the other places of worship, the team reached my village by lunch time. Since their purpose was pilgrimage and it was also 
almost lunch time, they decided to visit the Goddess Laxmi temple. After the prayers they had their lunch (prashad) in the temple as is the tradition in our village temple.  My village house is two hundred yards from the Temple. Therefore, my mother-in-law, it appears, suggested that before they left the village it maybe a good idea to visit our village house. I must at this point tell you that, by this time all of us - my brother, sister and me had shifted to live in Bangalore and the house was under the care of a relative and the people to whom my brother had assigned the farm to be looked after.

I was told that Amma went to the house and sat in he verandah (open portico) and talked to people around and after the team was ready to leave she tagged along with them and left the village. I was told that she didn't make any effort to go inside the house to see whether the upkeep of the house was alright and not even looked inside the kitchen or any part of the house, save sitting in the verandah and exchanging courtesies with the people around taking care of the house and the farm.

When I heard this I was a bit puzzled that Amma didn't show any interest in the village house or showed any sign of nostalgia and she was just normal and talked to people around who were taking care of the house and the farm. 

For a couple of days I was thinking about this incidence. The woman who lived in that house for more tha35 years and took care of the house and saw her children grow up and worked to hold the family together and was part of every activity in the house chose not to go inside the house to see whether the upkeep of the house was alright or to see some part of the house which was dear to her that evoked memories of living in that house. None! She didn't do anything like that.

After a couple of days of thinking about this, it dawned on me that, she had just dropped the house from her belongings and there was no craving about the house that it was hers and she was the owner and she didn't even try to tell her team mates the many stories about the house.

I believe,this is a the greatest example about detachment and giving up. I had read about (detachment) and maha vairagya (supreme detachment) in a book by Guruji on Patanjali's yoga sutra and I would do well to quote it, which sums up what detachment and supreme detachment mean:

"parama vairagya.
Detachment and supreme detachment. Dispassion and supreme dispassion. Being in the middle of everything and not running away from it but enjoying it and yet be detached is supreme detachment or supreme dispassion. Mere detachment is not being affected by anything and not being disturbed is a kind of inertia"

Perhaps this anecdote about Amma's visit and the way she related to the village and her house gives a practicle example of the meaning of supreme detachment (maha vairagya). She went to the village and she went to the house and talked to all the people taking care of the farm and the house.  She didn't show any feverishness about the house in which she lived enjoying  and also enjoyed being there after several years.

I sincerely feel that what is said about supreme detachment and supreme  dispassion in the above quote becomes so easy to grasp  When you read the anecdote  about Amma visiting the village and the village house. The following story, i believe, also gives her sense of supreme detachment. 

Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  
vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.

True Support

Taken from Amma's wisdom

When Amma came to bangalore, I was still working in the Bank and we lived in the house provided by the Bank. It was a small one bedroom house but made a huge difference to us moving from a very small cramped house to this house. I worked in the Bank till January 1996 and quit the bank in February 1996 and joined the law firm, my wife had already started.

We as a family had steadied the 'house boat' to what can be called an 'OK' living. But when I decided to quit the bank job and join the law firm, my mother and my friends were surprised about my decision and worried that I was abandoning a job which gave us a steady income and was taking a financial risk at the age of 37. They felt that it was not prudent on my part shifting to the law  firm, without any previous experience in the field of law.  It also meant that there would be no more  steady income from the bank that would  likely to cause financial uncertainty. 

My mother however, despite her worry, supported my decision, not by some encouraging words but by cutting down on almost on all the house hold expenses. That was her way of telling me - 'son go ahead, I am with you'.

It turned out that by October 1997' in about two years, I  somehow made it in the law firm and had made a good income from the profession to enable us to move to a bigger flat in an Apartment with 3 bedrooms - almost a penthouse, because the entire terrace of the Apartment opened in front of the bed room on the top floor. This mightily pleased my mother, as much as it pleased  our family.

So, the risk taken by me to change my career had paid off and the financial uncertainty was gone!

The new flat was spacious enough and Amma  felt proud about the progress made by us in the law firm. Amma continued  her routine in the  new flat. Since ours' was the only flat which opened up in front the terrace, we would use the terrace in the evenings to relax.  In  a few days after our arrival in the new flat, Amma suggested to me that we can put up a few plants in pots on the terrace, which would make the terrace look good.


That was the beginning of Amma's 'Terrace Farm'.

We started buying plants and started arranging them on the terrace. In a  matter of six months the terrace started looking green and Amma added lemon plant and flowering plants and plants with some medicinal qualities, about which she knew as a farmer from the village. 

In a matter of few months the terrace was transformed into Amma's mini farm with greenery on the terrace. With each addition the garden became more and more beautiful.

Amma would spend her mornings and evenings tending to  her terrace farm, looking for any weed to be plucked from the pots or taking out the dried leaves from the branches or watering the plants and putting manure to the pots.

It was interesting to watch her being on the terrace tending the plants. She knew each plant on the terrace and would spend time with each one of them and appeared as though she was conversing with them.

The terrace garden became a popular spot for us to spend our evenings or entertain guests for an evening dinner party or for watching the gorgeous sun set. 

Amma rediscovered her farm on the terrace and from that time till she passed away she tended the terrace garden with such care and love, it was as though a love bond developed between her and each of the plants.

It was some time in January 2002, the lemon plant in the pot had become almost a bush and was full of lemons and Amma kept a meticulous count of them every time she was on the terrace. It looked as though Amma and the lemon tree had become friends.

On the Hindu new year day in April 2002 Amma passed away. Though the rest of the plants continued to be healthy as before,  the lemon tree started shedding its leaves and the lemons and in matter a few days the plant died. I believe that Amma and the lemon tree were so connected that, it appeared as though  the lemon tree shed its leaves and died to express it's grief of losing Amma and wanted to be with her wherever she was and it followed Amma.

Such was her dedication to farming that she rediscovered the farm on the terrace and that her affection for the plants was unstinted and she   never lost love and care for the plants. The farmer in her lived on.....!


I believe that, this story of Amma teaches some simple wisdom.... :

In order to support someone in times of need or change, one need not be verbose or talk and give endless sermons on inspiration, but taking a few actions like Amma did - cutting down the house hold expenses - one can silently but firmly show to the person you want to support that you are on his/her side and always there to fall back upon and depend on for support.

Further, this anecdote also teaches that no matter where you are or where you are placed or shifted in terms of your work or work place or where one is compelled to settled down and  regardless of such situations, one can rediscover himself/herself and  can turn the situation pleasant and to one's advantage - you will be a winner making the person whom you support a winner.


Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  

vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.

What is contentment

Taken from - Amma's Wisdom

Amma was generally healthy and avoided taking any medicine if she fell ill or felt feverish or had a head ache.  Just before my father's passing away, Amma had developed wheezing. She had not suffered this  condition earlier in her life. As usual she tried her home medications but the wheezing would recur. When the wheezing became a constant condition, my mother started thinking that she has had an asthma attack.  My brother persuaded Amma to see a doctor, accordingly they consulted a doctor. Amma's siblings have had the condition of asthma and therefore, it was concluded by the doctor seeing Amma as hereditary and began treating her for asthma.

This treatment gave her some relief, but wheezing became a regular condition and her the treatment for asthma continued. Though over a period of time the treatment continued, yet the problem persisted. In addition to wheezing she developed swollen ankles.

My father-in-law was a doctor and a brilliant one at diagnosis simply based on the symptoms of the patient. When my wife told him about Amma's condition and her symptoms, he quickly concluded that, she was not suffering of asthma, but was suffering from an enlarged heart or slow heart failure. This was a bit of a shock to all of us. We decided that moment itself that we would bring Amma for treatment to Bangalore. 

Amma was given the treatment for heart ailment that prevented further damage to her heart. After this treatment Amma recovered sufficiently. Thereafter she didn't return to the village to tend to the farm and her career as farmer came to an end and she came and settled down with us in Bangalore.

So she began a new chapter in her life as an elderly woman in a big city -Bangalore. It required changes in her lifestyle from being a farmer to life in a city. As a mother to me and my sister and brother, mother-in-law to my wife and a grand mother to my daughter, she performed  these roles with such poise that it would have been difficult for any one to believe that  she was a village simpleton!  She adjusted to the city life very well and it was amazing to think her felicity to transform herself to suit to any place or lifestyle. 

When she moved to Bangalore I was still working in a Bank and we lived in the residential quarters provided by the bank. It was a small house with one bedroom, hall and a kitchen. My daughter went to school early in the morning, me and my wife went to work by 10am, that left mother alone in the house for 6 hours until my daughter returned home from her school. This left her with plenty of time and was a challenge to her to mange so much of time with very little to do... unlike her busy schedule Inte village.

Though Amma did her morning prayers and also cooked dinner for us, that would not take much of her time. I was a bit concerned about how she will manage being alone at home and nothing much do. In few days I found her reding books almost on a daily basis.Though she had spent only 4 years in the school, her ability to read (Kannada -  the local language) amazed me. My wife would help her with two or three Kannada novels written by different authors and she would lap it up in a matter of day or two. My wife made sure that there was a constant supply of Kannada novels to her and amma settled down into her routine of reading books and novels. The concern I had about how she would manage her time was solved by this simple solution and she kept her busy reading and boredom that would have really haunted her became alien to her. I heaved a sigh of relief that Amma was now occupied in her spare time and the routine of farming that kept her busy no more became an issue. 

I have always wondered about this quality of her to quickly transform herself to a any new given place or situation. Normally people who are busy and retire from their daily work, find the transition a bit difficult and they will miss their routine, friends, etc related to their work and therefore, constantly complain about the change in their life style and bore people who meet them, with their past achievements in their work place and all the heroics about the adventures in their life before retirement and construct stories after stories to narrate to anyone who met them......that is why youngsters dread to meet people who have retired from their work and staying at home after retirement!

It was remarkable that Amma not only didn't complain about the change in the life style but seemed to have overcome completely  about her farming schedule and unlike the 'normal' retired people she didn't come up with the boring stories about her life in a village, farming and the hardships she went through...  She seemed to have kept her past aside and focused on her present... reading books, talking about the general topics at home with us or relatives or guests who visited her. She had shed her role of a farmer!

There are many writings on 'giving up'.  It is common knowledge that 'giving up' something that we are used to is not easy, rather it is painful to give up something we are used to. She adopted to this change in her lifestyle by switching over to reading novels. She showed by this example that giving up what one "is used to in the past can be overcome by finding an interest inherent in themselves and pursuing it with zest. It will ultimately help shed  the 'old self' and bring a new path in the journey of life.

That part, Amma started taking interest in computers and in a few days she  learnt to operate  and to play computer games. She loved solving zig saw puzzles. We gifted her with many of them. 

I was thinking of what is the learning and wisdon in this part of her story.  Then it hit me that she passed on the wisdom about what contentment is through this part her life story!!

Her contended life aptly fits into the quote by Maltbie Davenport Babcock.....  Which says :

"No one is discontented who employs and enjoys to the utmost of what he has.  But this much at least can be done, and this is contentment, to have the most and best in life, by making the most and best of what we have....Contentment is not satisfaction.  It is the grateful, faithful, fruitful use of what we have."


Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  Share it with your friends and on face book too!

vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.

The secret to succeed

Patience


Taken from Amma's Wisdom

Amma was a patient woman. The meaning of patience for Amma meant that one has to be patient till any objective is achieved. She was clear that, merely being patient during the preparation process and losing it just before the completion of the task was an enormous waste of time and energy coupled with the sad feeling of having failed in the endeavor.

Her wisdom about  patience was a simple story she narrated many times about the  preparation of  a sweet called payasa. Preparation of payasa is an art and requires time to prepare since different ingredients, such as thin noodles, the cashew nuts, keshar-  a flavour, powdered cardamom and a few  more ingredients. Milk is boiled and condensed on a low but a constant temperature for hours. Some time half way through the process these ingredients have to be added and continue to be boiled a few more hours. One has to constantly stir the contents to avoid the milk getting unevenly boiled.

Thus payassa  (a south indian sweet) requires the right ingredients and the patience to make it a delicious sweet, full of aroma.

Amma would narrate this process and would tell us that 'see , in order to make payassa, it requires the skill to  prepare the ingredients and most importantly the patience to constantly monitor it during the preparation'. Unless one is involved in making payasa with concentration that there is a possibility that the milk will be partially burnt and the sweet will be unpalatable. Then she would tell us that,' see in preparing the payasa is an example of patience with involvement' however she would continue the story and say, 'before just finishing cooking the payassa,  if  you  get upset with something or some one ... in that moment of impulse if you a put a spoon of salt in it... imagine what will happen to the  payassa??  The  delicious sweet will become inedible and all the hard work, the preparation, the involvement and the patience will all be in vain...  Then she would tell us ' see the  most delicious sweet prepared by you  with such involvement and concentration could be spoiled in a moment by a spoon of salt.....then you can only feed your effortful dish to your kitchen dustbin!  She would be silent for just a couple of seconds and turn her attention to us and say 'see... patience is not about spending hours and hours working hard on something....but it is all about being patient until you have completed the task successfully... one last momentary lapse of patience will let the whole effort run down the drain in seconds...... so patience is all about keeping your focus and determination alongside your hard work and never to lose it until you have completed the task... otherwise all the best efforts will turn into failures instead of a turning into satisfying success'. 

Isn't what Amma said is true and simple- that 'patience' is explained in a very short story.... no elaborate sermons or lengthy explanations about patience......just a simple payassa story!

So until the objective is achieved, keep your restraint intact, lest one small impulse destroys an year's work.

Amma's simplicity spoke in her short stories and anecdotes, which would leave an impression on us and never have I forgotten about this story...... Whenever  an impulse or an  upsetting thought  appears in me when I am on a project ...  this story helps me to calm down and continue on the project without being distracted by the vagaries of situations, peoples' remarks or any other thing which distracts me from my chosen objective.  What a wonderful example that she gave about patience- simple in itself yet very profound and easy to follow. 

Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  

vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.

The power to transform oneself

Courage


Taken from Amma's Wisdom


I must mention that my mother was very proud of her children and sincerely believed that all the children were intelligent and capable and she never gave up this conviction. The following story makes the point clear:

Since my village had only a school up to 10th grade, I went to a near by town for my pre-university education. Being a student coming from a village background and not knowing to speak or write good english language, coupled with my penchant to imitate town boys - spending more time loitering than studying, I did poorly in my pre-university education. Thus lost out on pursuing an engineering course. That apart my so called image took a severe beating, since Amma always praised me as an enterprising and intelligent student and she told everyone that her son will do well in college and would pursue a professional course.  

With any other mother, this would have been indefensible unfortunate incident. But Amma seemed unperturbed and called me and made me sit next to her and she told me this story:

You know Venkatesh, the goddess of all wealths has eight sister, representing eight wealths. She narrated that each goddess represented one wealth. One the money, second the grain, third the children/ offsprings,  fourth the wealth of courage, fifth the wealth of cattle, sixth the wealth of knowledge and science, seventh  the wealth of success and the eighth, the bestower of wishes. Each one of these wealths are the gifts of the goddess of all wealths. Any one possessing these wealths will be a complete person.
She told me the Sanskrit names of these goddesses  which represent these eight wealths..

[ Dhana laxmi : for money and gold riches and prosperity
Dhanya Lakshmi  "Lakshmi as goddess of grain"): Giver of agricumltural wealth.
Gaja laxmi : Giver of animal wealth, like cattle and elephants.
Santana Lakshmi :Bestower of offspring
Dhairya Lakṣmī, "Courage Lakshmi:  courage and strength for overcoming difficulties in life.
Vijaya Lakshmi : to beget success.
Vidya Lakshmi :the bestower of knowledge of arts and sciencesP
Vara Lakshmi : "The lady who bestows Beautiful Boons".]

She went on to narrate the story about a king who had all these wealths. When any king  has all these wealths, there cannot be any doubt that the kingdom would do well in all spheres of that country and the king would be a most loved and respected king. The people in that kingdom would also be very happy with all the wealths available in that country. 

Over a period of time, the goddess of wealth and riches felt that she was not given the due respect she deserved  and therefore, decided to leave the king and his kingdom and therefore, she went to the king and told him so. The king didn't appear to be perturbed and told her that it was her wish to stay or go.... Immediately, the goddess of wealth disappeared. The goddess of grains and agriculture was watching this and she followed the suit, telling the king,that without wealth she cannot stay and when the king asked to do what she pleased, she vanished. The other goddesses followed suit and one by one -each one of them disappeared in front of the King. That left one goddess  - the goddess of courage (the one who gives strength for overcoming difficulties in life), sitting alone contemplating. After a while she slowly walked up to the king, she told him that after the exit of her seven sisters, she would be lonely and she told him that she too would have to follow them. 

At this point, the king kneeled before the goddess of courage and held her hand and told her that, the other goddesses were transcient and temporary and beseeched her to stay with him. The king told her that, it was enough for him that she stayed with him and promised her that in  a matter of month he would make sure to bring back all the other goddesses who had left him to join her. The goddess was a little hesitant and told that king that, one month was all that she would get to keep his promise.

The story goes that with courage and the strength to overcome hurdles, the king brought back all the goddesses - of wealth, grain.....and ll of them.

After telling me this story, my mother looked at me with all her love and held my hand said : 'Venkatesh, right now the goddess of success has eluded you but you still have the goddess of courage and use her strength and you will be able get unlimited success!

Instead of chiding me and asking all the awkward questions,  Amma reassured me that I can still be successful and shine in life. This showed her faith in me and also her conviction about the power of courage to overcome hurdles and that if I used that wealth,  I would achieve all other wealths!

This one story and her faith in me and her conviction that I can over come hurdles, changed my life for ever. I went back to college and earned two gold medals and landed a job in a bank then turned an attorney and started a law firm and the rest is history.

This was the power of her being and the power of her story that transformed a carefree boy into an achieving man!


Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:

vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.

The power to change

Vanasuma - The forest flower.

This is the real life story about how just one person's compassion towards an underprivileged child can inspire a community to form a mini charitable trust to transform the lives of many street children into school going children for ver 20 years...you can contribute donations to Vanasuma.


Here goes the story.......

It was a warm morning in May 1992 in Bangalore.......... A lady was on her way to her work just happened to see a little girl, walking bare feet - looking hungry, clutching a slate and dressed in oversized, worm out clothes rushing towards her school located near by her slum, where she lived with her parents. It is a normal sight in that area of Bangalore, which could have escaped the attention of anyone walking in that area. But this particular lady walking towards her work place could not take her gaze away from that little girl with sparkling eyes. The little girl, she thought, looked like a beautiful wild flower in the forest.

The lady stopped the little girl and asked her name and the little girl answered "Ammu". The lady didn't stop her conversation there, she asked her whether she had anything to eat that morning. The answer from Ammu was a simple NO and in fact she had had noting much to eat at home even the night before.

This incident moved the lady so much that, she opened her lunch box and gave it to Ammu and Ammu was hesitant at first and looked at the lady with her apprehensive eyes... But the lady encouraged Ammu to eat the breakfast packed in that lunch box. Ammu ate the break from that lunch box at one go and wiped her lips and ran towards the school and vanished from the sight of the lady.

The next day the lady went to the same spot and waited for Ammu, but Ammu didn't turn up on that day and the lady felt sad and left to her work place. The lady however didn't give up and went again to the same spot and waited for the girl and after waiting for little while she was not sure whether Ammu will turn up that day too.  The lady brightened up when she saw Ammu walking toward her. The lady hugged that child and gave her lunch box to the Ammu to eat and took a promise from her that she would return the next day and promised her that she will give her breakfast before she went to school. 

The seed of 'Vanasuma'  a charitable trust was planted on that day, for the welfare of the less privileged  children. The lady whose compassion made this possible is - Lalitha Jayasheelan, the founder trustee of Vanasuma.

The name 'Vanasuma' also aptly translates the feeling of Lalitha on the first day when she saw Ammu. In Sanskrit 'Vana' means Forest and 'Suma' means Flower!

Thereafter Lalitha's friends joined her and bought buns to distribute to the children of the school to which Amma went. This substantially improved the attendance of the slum children to the school. Vanasuma became synonymous with feeding the slum children to encourage them to attend school.

A miracle happened some time during 2004-05. The ISKON Foundation visited the school and launched the 'akshaya patra' scheme to provide hygienic and healthy mid- day meals to all children of the school......from that day the dream of Lalitha to feed slum children to encourage them to attend school took a huge dimension. Not only this school, but almost all the schools, where slum children attend the school are provided with this food. Vanasuma believes that the seed they sowed in 1992 became huge tree feeding thousands of slum school children.

Once the mission of Vanasuma of feeding the slum school children was fulfilled by Devine intervention, Lalitha and the trustees of Vanasuma thought about launching one more project for the slum children. They thought, let us move from food to educating the street children. 

Thus the new project - Evening school for less privileged children was born under the umbrella of Vanasuma. The school runs in a makeshift place, which provides silent atmosphere, tables and chairs, computers for children to sit and study in the evening. This has provided an impetus to the next step in the welfare of less privileged children, namely, education.

Currently, Vanasuma runs this school and takes care of less privileged children to come and learn the basic education and also provides space for slum children going to school for their reading and study. The movement to free street children is on.....

Note:Thanks for reading this story.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  
vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.
*********************

Passing dream

Passing dream.

Morose at times I think I am
Life seems to me then meaningless and purposeless 
But the clicking hour passes by and
Leaves me to think that it was just a dream
And yes ! I believe  it to be a passing dream.

If what I think is reality is a dream impossibility
Then I am living in castles unbuilt
And gardens there existed.

But if what I think is dream is dear reality
Then I'm existing and happy.

Life is both a dream impossibility and a drear reality.

But any way it's a passing dream........



Note:Thanks for reading this.
It will immensely help me in improving my writing, if you share your ideas and thoughts  and suggestions about the story and my writing. You may also suggest topics  for my writing. Please feel free to contact me on my email  for all your comments and suggestions:  

vdharmraj@ramaavenkatesh.com.