Suspicion - .

We tend to suspect about many things and  about people and their motives. So, I decided to see and learn more about suspecion and it's effects and I came up with many quotes and among them I thought the following appealed to me and I have tried to collate them to bring out what does suspecion means and it's effects. I have not shown the author at the end of each quote, instead I have given credits at the end of this article so as to keep the continuity of the dialogue I this article. Here it is:

I began with the first quote:

"Suspicion is a mental picture seen through an imaginary keyhole." 

I felt this quote very aptly tells what suspecion means. Actually seeing though the key hole, one can see a limited space of what exists behind that key hole. Thus, you get a partial picture through seeing through a key hole. Therefore, in suspicion the judgement is fragmented because of the partial picture one sees to arrive at his/her conclusion.

The next quote tells us that the suspecision is detrimental as it disturbs our peace of mind and therefore eminently avoidable:

"Suspicion is far more apt to be wrong than right; oftener unjust than just.  It is no friend to virtue, and always an enemy to happiness." 

So, I asked myself, with such deadly side effects should I even remotely think  of suspecting anything or anyone?! I told my self Naah!

The next quote so aptly states the futility of suspicion:

"Suspicion is very often a useless pain." 

If knowing well that suspicion cases pain, one still prefers to suspect,  then it is nothing short of a condition known as neurotic paradox - which means the person knows fully well that something is not be done because it causes pain but cannot help but doing it! I said let me be aware of this paradox and avoid suspecting!

Then the next quote gave a caution:

"Suspicion is ever strong on the suffering side." 

So, if you are the suffering  party, please avoid suspicion because the suffering mind looks for evidence to suspect and inevitably through the imaginary key hole comes up with something to convince you to suspect! I felt this should be a guiding principle to keep in mind when I am the suffering party.. Bleep bleep!

The next two quote  quotes made it clear that, suspicion becomes an impediment to acquire wisdom and takes away your chance to be wise.

"Suspicion is a great enemy to wisdom." 

"Ignorance is the mother of suspicion."  

So, I thought ignorance in itself is the enemy of wisdom and if ignorance is the mother of suspicion, it is better to keep it as far away as possible.

Then the last quote I thought gave a piece of sensible advise 

"There is nothing that makes a man suspect much, more than to know little; and, therefore, men should remedy suspicion by procuring to know more, and not to keep their suspicions to smother." 

Then I thought in order to overcome suspicion I should endeavor to know more.. and the most beautiful part of knowing more and striving to procure more will lead to  wisdom, which will as a natural consequence vanquish suspicion.

So, avoid suspicion like plague until you know more!! And the catch is when you know more you are wise and suspicion simply disappears!

* *Credits :

unknown.

Francis Bacon, Sr.

Hosea

Samuel Johnson
Publilius Syrus
Thomas Fuller
William R. Alger

You can write the stories of your past life but you can’t change even one tiny bit of that.

So instead… Begin a new one!!!

Whether we are young or old, whether our years number a few or many, we have a past and now we are here – right now, where we are.

Life begins with birth and all of us go through various phases of life – childhood, adolescence, adult hood. During our lives we go though myriad of events, situations and countless experiences, thoughts and emotions – some good, some not so good -some memorable and some forgettable. All these things are a natural consequence of the very laws of the nature.

Life is not a ‘Constant’, it is a continuous going by, being here and moving ahead. It could be said life is in ‘flux’ or ‘perpetual motion’.

At different points of time in our lives, we are in different geographical, social, financial and psychological environments. We experience life in different ways and meet different people who themselves are subject to the same set of experiences; experience their own situations and major and minor events in their lives. No one is exempt from this.

And during those different points of our lives, different perceptions are formed, changed, modified and destroyed and new ones formed. Just like our lives, perceptions too are not constant!

Over many millennia, the concepts of good and bad, right and wrong, moral and immoral and a host of other concepts have been formed and changed.

Even the scientific concepts – (which are empirical and tested and proved to be correct at the time they were accepted, have been changed and modified and new concepts have taken their place. These are accepted as true at this point of time, but as science progresses, it’s likely we will have new concepts replacing the current ones!

If this is the state of empirical concepts which are tested and proved to be correct, imagine now the position of the human concepts of good and bad, moral and immoral, right and wrong, correct and incorrect, that are socially accepted and ‘normal’ at this point in time, but it has not always been so – and will not be in the future no doubt.

In our life we go through a host of experiences some pleasant and some not so pleasant … they are like a video or movie recording available for replay. We can watch as many times as we wish, but we cannot change even one bit of what happened in the life that has passed…

So!!!! My questions are “Why carry the burden of the past and let it interfere with the present? Why carry the memories of the past as if they are happening in the present and be disturbed by them? Why remember the past miseries and cry now?”

It’s our past and it has passed.

We can write what is past as our story but no matter how much we may like to, we can’t change even one bit of it…

But what we can do and what we do  have,  is the choice to begin a new story while we have time on our hands…

So, why carry the burden of the past and waste the present time available to us…instead start a fresh and new story and celebrate the new life and its journey.

Written by Venkatesh Dharmraj

Edited by Grace Lee

 

Experiencing God!

God, Grace and blessings are almost synonymous with one another.  

Different Gods are accepted and worshipped as their creator and savior in different parts of the world ... But the common  thread   'God'  runs through the  acceptance and worship by the entire humanity.

Looking closer we discover that the most common thread that runs through the entire acceptance worship of God is that :

- The entire life on earth is the creation of one God.

- The God is present everywhere and in everything on this earth and -- - There is no place where God doesn't exist - he is omnipresent.

If that is what the entire humanity accepts and worships, then why we don't see God? Why we don't experience God? 

That which is accepted and worshipped by the entire humanity over millenniums can't be seen and can't be experienced is some what disappointing, since God ought to have been seen and experienced by all with such acceptance and worship over the millenniums! 

It is common knowledge that, some months of single minded working on a stone gets the worker to see some shape and experience the shape of what he/she is working on. 

If seeing and experiencing something which is worked on for as short a period as months lets the person see and experience it, then why God being accepted and worshipped by the entire humanity is not seen or experienced  by people and why only a few say they have seen God and experienced God?

Is God so tough and elusive that we can not see him and experience him?

Is God so unachievable despite millenniums of acceptance and worship by the humanity?

Has God discriminated to be seen and experienced by only a few people and not generally available to be seen and experienced by all?

My mind was saying that this somehow does not go well with the most worshipped belief that God exists in every thing on this earth and there is no place where God is not there and that God is omnipresent.

Then I sat  down  and contemplated, looked into many writings and went through noble quotes but still i didn't get a satisfactory answer and then  I went out for a walk ...but this thought lingered on in my mind .. As I stepped out -  I saw a tree, I gazed at the tree then I asked my self is this tree God? Then I saw a man passing by me and I saw him and he saw me .. He smiled and smiled back.. I again asked myself is this person God?.. My mind started racing and everything I saw .. I asked this question.. The sky,  the sun, the earth right below my feet, the flowers, birds, the people around... I asked the same question.. 

Then I walked a little ahead and it started drizzling and the first rain drops hit me and I experienced the droplets falling on my head and my face, I felt the coldness in the rain drops... My mind stopped!! I stood there soaking in the rain and it felt very good ...... 

... Then suddenly there was a flash and in that moment  I realized... Hey I am SEEING  God .. Right here..in this tree ..in the sky, in the sun, in the people around and I am experiencing God ..in the coldness of the rain drops and the wind that hit me... 

The rain stopped and I reached a huge banyan tree and sat underneath it and my mind began contemplating... God is not one thing  and is not in one form ... It's everything.. and in every form .. Experiencing God is the experience of rain drops on my face, experiencing  a smile of the person who passed by me... 

My mind settled down in calmness with the  realization that all of us are seeing God every moment... in the tree, the sky and every human around.. and all of us are experiencing God .. in the experience of the rain drops falling on the face, in the smile of someone who smiles at us.. Then I concluded that... It's our ignorance in recognizing a simple truth that God is omni-present and therefore, everything we see and every thing we experience is Seeing God and experiencing God... God is right there within us and around us... And what stops us from seeing and experiencing God is our ignorance to recognize it.. Those who recognize this simple truth are blessed and are known and called as enlightened! 

Seeing God and experiencing him is so simple and it is so simple to be enlightened!!. 

Whether we choose to be ignorant in recognizing this simple truth will makes us either ordinary or enlightened!

An angel who chose us as parents.

 29th January 1985 the day my daughter was born in a town - Dharwad -400 Kms  from were I was working - Bangalore.

On the evening of 29th I received a call to tell me that I was blessed with a  baby girl ... and in an instant I was on my way to Dharwad,  an overnight journey, which for me, seemed  like an eternity as I was anxious through out my 400 km journey  and had hardly slept just imagining about MY new born baby.

It was early morning when I reached the place and went straight to the nursing home to meet  my baby girl  for the first  time.. !!!   I had become a father at 26 and  it was an experience which I can hardly describe in words.. 

The moment  I set my eyes on the baby I simply dissolved and became one with her - the baby was stunningly beautiful, fragile and calmly sleeping.  I couldn't resist but to pick her up and put her on my lap and the baby was in her own dreamy sleep.... With the baby in my lap, I waited patiently for an hour simply gazing at her and during the entire time nothing around the periphery in my vision appeared except the tiny baby! It was an amazing experience!

The  next best ting that came about was her naming ceremony. My wife & my sister,  supported by  a gang of relatives  had   chosen the name 'Mansi' and I had chosen the name 'Sarovi'.... so, inevitably it was me (alone!) versus the whole 'gang'!  At the naming ceremony I pronounced the name 'Sarovi'and the whole 'gang' pronounced in one voice the name  'Mansi and it doesn't take a genius to understand that my voice  was drowned by that of the 'gang'(!)So the little angel was named Mansi (!) but in deference to my wish, my kindly wife entered my daughter's name as Sarovi in the official records and it remained there on paper and every one addressed the baby as Mansi. Thus Mansi was born with her official name as Sarovi!

It was an year or so later, me, my wife and Mansi travelled to Delhi to attend my friend's wedding and my wife was so impressed with the bride - Nidhi-  during the marriage ceremony that soon after we returned from Delhi,  my wife changed my daughter's name in the official records as Nidhi! Despite this.. Mansi remained the favorite and a popular name with every one all the time and even now!

I had chosen 'Sarovi' because that name represented the name of a calm lake, while Nidhi means treasure... In India,  Mansi means the goddess of mind - Goddess  Saraswathi - who represents education and knowledge.

Though she is addressed as Mansi now, but in retrospect I feel she is a combination of all the three names - a calm river, a treasure and the goddess of mind!

Though psychologically it was a very satisfying time but financially it was the most difficult time in my life... With both me and my wife working together, we  could not afford to make both ends  meet! 

Even during this time Mansi remained a great support - We had to drop her to the baby sitter and go to work as early as 8 am in the morning. There were no complaints about my daughter from the baby sitter.. On the contrary she loved the child as her own.

Since we had literally no money, we used public transport to go around everywhere. On such day when we were returning home, my little daughter asked me whether we could travel home by a taxi.   

I knew for certain that the money in my pocket would be just enough to pay for the public transport to reach home... and I was at a loss as to explain this to the little child!  I  cheeringly said to her... " look Mansi this vehicle (pointing at the public transport bus) is so big and the taxi is so small.. let us travel by Bus" .. I was stunned when  she said.. " yes papa you are right... let's go by Bus"..  that minute I turned my face away from my child to  hide my tears and I have tears in my eyes even now, as I am writing this.. Such a small child.. Yet so understanding!

One of those days a child model coordinator met us and asked us whether our daughter can be used as a child model for advertisements? We said yes and from that day for the next seven years she became a successful child model for media and TV. I took much pride in that and felt rich as a father. 

Except paying her initial donation when she joined her 1st standard in a reputed school in Bangalore.. We have not paid any hefty fee for her education as she managed to be a meritorious student and we had to pay the only minimum fee and all the model fee she earned put together actually took care of her education including her law school education!

She finished her law school, and remained a likable student, friend during those days. She was inclined towards humanitarian work and served as an intern in the Amnesty International and worked in the Common Wealth Human Rights Organization.

Though, she worked about 6 months in my Law  Firm.. but being inclined towards human rights, presently she is working for a Global Humanitarian Organization for the last two years

When I look back, I see Mansi as a support and an inspiration. Even today she is my biggest support and and also a great admirer and a constant inspiration.

I am reminded of a Quote by Dr. James C. Dobson : "Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built."...

But I would like add that children are angels which choose you as parents.. The angels of support, the angels to admire and the angles who admire you and inspire you .. And I have always told Mansi:  "thanks Mansi for choosing us as parents"

I was famous as Mansi's father when she was a child model and now I am  proud to be famous as Mansi's father in her organization she is working now!

Mansi - the angel who chose us as parents.

Experience with Mansi when she wanted to travel by auto from RBI 

The experience of being with Mansi as a child model.

First shoot with Dinesh photographer. Then Sudhir ramachandran.

Days in basaveshwr nagar... Playing with my friends... Cricket

School - in basaveshwar nagar how we dropped her early I the morning.

The experience with Mansi when we went on vacation to Mysore for the first time and her singing  in the bath room.

Experience with Mansi when we shifted to orchid apartment.

Physical space & psychological space.

We live in two spaces - the outer and the inner - i prefer to refer to them as 'physical space' -the outer space & 'psychological space' -the inner space within us.

We as human beings exist and live  on this earth. We have both closed  and open physical spaces for us to experience. This space can be as restricted as a small room or an open garden or the entire sky with the sun or moon or stars and it's universe!  

A quote by Douglas Adams aptly illustrates this point clear....!

  "Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space."  

So you can imagine how huge is the dimension of  physical space! 

Through our senses we can see and feel the vastness of this space but we as human beings can exist and live only within that part of the space where there is air to breath....air is THE essential ingredient, without which we will simply suffocate and die...the body is dependent on air and it withers away as soon as the body stops breathing air.. So, the body has sever limitations to exist in relation to the all pervasive physical space!!

We have heard stories about how people suffer when they climb the high mountain peaks where the air is thin... There are also stories about people who are not used to living on high mountain areas and when they go to such areas they suffocate and die, because they cover their faces with blankets to protect themselves from the cold!

Why go so far away and high.... there are many stories next door, of people dead when they dozed off  and fell asleep inside parked cars for hours with all the windows and doors closed!

Therefore, physical space with air is the only fit place- rather the only place where every human being can survive and live -  and in spaces where there is no air... suffocation and death is certain.

In the physical space, one can lock up in a small room and think that, that  is the WHOLE physical space or one  can live in a mansion or venture into space and get a glimpse of the vastness of the physical space - the Universe.

The physical space and it's air are easy to understand because they are obvious and we can see them.

However understanding what constitute psychological space and  psychological air  is not so obvious as this dimension is subtle in nature.

The psychological space is the space within us - within every human being....  and  that psychological space is as huge, as vast and as all pervasive as the universe of the physical world outside.  

And how much psychological air we have is determined by how much  psychological space we allow to consciously expand in within us.

Psychological space allows us to experience our inner self and also is important for people around us.

If we prefer to limit our psychological space and it's air... our perceptions, our perspectives will be limited by that space. Smaller the space we choose to be in, the smaller the personality we will be. In that limited space what can arise is only knowledge to fulfill our basic needs and to relate to a very few people, thus restricting the growth within and allowing only a few people to come into that space.

Smaller the psychological space more the misery and suffocation and equally people around have limited space and air in our presence.

But if one chooses to venture to expand his/her psychological space and automatically the psychological air (which is very much abundantly available)... imagine the  space and the air in which he/she resides, floats, swims and flys and allow themselves and  others to experience the   ecstasy, bliss and freedom. 

Perhaps the following sums up what I am so strenuously trying to say above :

"Space is as infinite as we can imagine, and expanding this perspective is what adjusts humankind's focus on conquering our true enemies, the formidable foes: ignorance and limitation." -Vanna Bonta

Thus expanding our psychological space and air gives us a chance to overcome our ignorance and limitation and allows us to see the world from a bigger perspective, thus wisdom to arise as a result and also allows us to include many people in that space to experience our companionship. 

My  invitation to you is to - see what size is your inner space and would you wish to work towards broadening that space that will  allow you  to breath easily and gives you a chance to seeing the world from a bigger perspective - wisdom. It also allows people around you to breath easily and gives them a chance to broaden their horizon.

An angel who chose us as parents.

 29th January 1985 the day my daughter was born in a town - Dharwad -400 Kms  from were I was working - Bangalore.

On the evening of 29th I received a call to tell me that I was blessed with a  baby girl ... and in an instant I was on my way to Dharwad,  an overnight journey, which for me, seemed  like an eternity as I was anxious through out my 400 km journey  and had hardly slept just imagining about MY new born baby.

It was early morning when I reached the place and went straight to the nursing home to meet  my baby girl  for the first  time.. !!!   I had become a father at 26 and  it was an experience which I can hardly describe in words.. 

The moment  I set my eyes on the baby I simply dissolved and became one with her - the baby was stunningly beautiful, fragile and calmly sleeping.  I couldn't resist but to pick her up and put her on my lap and the baby was in her own dreamy sleep.... With the baby in my lap, I waited patiently for an hour simply gazing at her and during the entire time nothing around the periphery in my vision appeared except the tiny baby! It was an amazing experience!

The  next best ting that came about was her naming ceremony. My wife & my sister,  supported by  a gang of relatives  had   chosen the name 'Mansi' and I had chosen the name 'Sarovi'.... so, inevitably it was me (alone!) versus the whole 'gang'!  At the naming ceremony I pronounced the name 'Sarovi'and the whole 'gang' pronounced in one voice the name  'Mansi and it doesn't take a genius to understand that my voice  was drowned by that of the 'gang'(!)So the little angel was named Mansi (!) but in deference to my wish, my kindly wife entered my daughter's name as Sarovi in the official records and it remained there on paper and every one addressed the baby as Mansi. Thus Mansi was born with her official name as Sarovi!

It was an year or so later, me, my wife and Mansi travelled to Delhi to attend my friend's wedding and my wife was so impressed with the bride - Nidhi-  during the marriage ceremony that soon after we returned from Delhi,  my wife changed my daughter's name in the official records as Nidhi! Despite this.. Mansi remained the favorite and a popular name with every one all the time and even now!

I had chosen 'Sarovi' because that name represented the name of a calm lake, while Nidhi means treasure... In India,  Mansi means the goddess of mind - Goddess  Saraswathi - who represents education and knowledge.

Though she is addressed as Mansi now, but in retrospect I feel she is a combination of all the three names - a calm river, a treasure and the goddess of mind!

Though psychologically it was a very satisfying time but financially it was the most difficult time in my life... With both me and my wife working together, we  could not afford to make both ends  meet! 

Even during this time Mansi remained a great support - We had to drop her to the baby sitter and go to work as early as 8 am in the morning. There were no complaints about my daughter from the baby sitter.. On the contrary she loved the child as her own.

Since we had literally no money, we used public transport to go around everywhere. On such day when we were returning home, my little daughter asked me whether we could travel home by a taxi.   

I knew for certain that the money in my pocket would be just enough to pay for the public transport to reach home... and I was at a loss as to explain this to the little child!  I  cheeringly said to her... " look Mansi this vehicle (pointing at the public transport bus) is so big and the taxi is so small.. let us travel by Bus" .. I was stunned when  she said.. " yes papa you are right... let's go by Bus"..  that minute I turned my face away from my child to  hide my tears and I have tears in my eyes even now, as I am writing this.. Such a small child.. Yet so understanding!

One of those days a child model coordinator met us and asked us whether our daughter can be used as a child model for advertisements? We said yes and from that day for the next seven years she became a successful child model for media and TV. I took much pride in that and felt rich as a father. 

Except paying her initial donation when she joined her 1st standard in a reputed school in Bangalore.. We have not paid any hefty fee for her education as she managed to be a meritorious student and we had to pay the only minimum fee and all the model fee she earned put together actually took care of her education including her law school education!

She finished her law school, and remained a likable student, friend during those days. She was inclined towards humanitarian work and served as an intern in the Amnesty International and worked in the Common Wealth Human Rights Organization.

Though, she worked about 6 months in my Law  Firm.. but being inclined towards human rights, presently she is working for a Global Humanitarian Organization for the last two years

When I look back, I see Mansi as a support and an inspiration. Even today she is my biggest support and and also a great admirer and a constant inspiration.

I am reminded of a Quote by Dr. James C. Dobson : "Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built."...

But I would like add that children are angels which choose you as parents.. The angels of support, the angels to admire and the angles who admire you and inspire you .. And I have always told Mansi:  "thanks Mansi for choosing us as parents"

I was famous as Mansi's father when she was a child model and now I am  proud to be famous as Mansi's father in her organization she is working now!

Mansi - the angel who chose us as parents.

Edit -  honoring the Women:

 

God in his wisdom created men and women on this earth at the same time and gave them the gift of the same earth and all its bountiful immeasurable treasures.  

 

God didn't place any embargo or any condition on either the women. They were to equally experience life, explore it and create, contribute to the treasures of this earth and enjoy the treasures of this world.

 

To think, even remotely, that God would differentiate or discriminate between men and women in living and exploring this earth and everything in it would not only be preposterous but would be against the very essence of the concept of God!!

 

The question then is, why do we see a host of restrictions, embargos and differentiation in societies, (developed or underdeveloped), (rich or the poor) - between what women can and cannot do and what women ought and ought not to do in a host of human aspects?

 

Where, why and how did these conditions and embargoes on women, that we commonly see originate and how did they become societal ‘norms’ in various ways in different parts of the world?

 

Ask yourself... Who is the most intimately connected person to any human being?  The answer is the "mother", who through the umbilical cord gives life to the unborn child, the life sustaining milk of its infancy and throughout the early years - the teaching in the basics of life till the child grows is. It is mother – it is Woman.

 

A woman performs so many roles depending on the requirements of her life, but those closest to her will remember mostly the nurturing caring roles of mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunty, grandmother and friend.

 

But despite all the best things said about women, it is a fact that women who are past their 50th year often find themselves abandoned by those for whom she strived for years..! Who will support and empower them?

 

With everything women have lived through in a rapidly changing society, where motherhood is first revered and then relegated to a lesser role, with all the role changes women who are now over 50 have lived through, I venture to think that these women are equally capable of creating enough and more for themselves to live the rest of their life with joy, love and bliss and also show to the community that - where there is a will there is a way!

 

It is my belief that there is no magic wand, they will need to do so themselves – and that is not acceptable in most people’s eyes – however it is the way of a throwaway society, where values change like underwear. Single women over 50 are particularly vulnerable – but they are not without resources and they have the special benefit of numbers.

 

Women are well known for their ability to work together to achieve group purpose and this is the purpose of the Womens Creative Cooperatives – groups of women gathering locally across many locations who can share their resources and offer social support, where currently many women find themselves isolated.

 

All over the world, women over 50 are experiencing the same things. As they cooperative together to create a better tomorrow, they are recognising the strength they have on the inside. The inner beauty of an authentic woman working towards a more positive future - that encompasses the freedom to be who they are without restrictions, is something to behold.

 

For any change to occur, women must become empowered to make themselves  not only self-sufficient but also to inspire and empower other women, and in doing so create the political and social platform for change, that will ensure greater participation levels in women over 50.

 

 

There are examples of this choice being exercised by women all over the world at different periods of time and also in the same culture.  One such Community project is - "You and the community” in Australia.

 

There are women who stand up to support other women in their times of need and I am very sure a window will open and things will fall in place for projects like "You and the community" to be successful.